My pending delivery being synced with the cows on the ranch has encouraged a lot of comparisons between myself and the momma cows from all parties around. The Rancher keeps telling me the chains are ready and so is he. The observations from The Rancher’s Sidekick that calves come out from their moms’ bums have inspired some enlightening conversations, to say the least. And The Ranch Princess has told me that my tummy is “even bigger!” than the cows… Thanks dear…
After hearing it so much, I have begun to wonder and compare with them and I have decided that some days, I do wish I was a cow. Because…
1. A cow’s life is to eat, sleep, poop and repeat. They lounge around chewing their cud with their only real responsibility being available to nurse their calves. I mean, heck, they don’t even have to do any work to feed their babies. They just stand there!
2. They hang with their gal pals all day, every day. How cool would it be to go out to breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner with yours girls?! You can even just leave the kids at home and they’ll be fine. No babysitter needed.
3. Cows don’t have to worry about wardrobe changes or making sure that they are all put together. No make up to put on, no shoes to keep polished and no highlights to keep up with. They come with a lifetime supply of hair and there ain't no changing it. Instead, a little tongue bath is all you really need.
4. They lose the weight so fast after having a baby. Look at those dairy cows! They pump out the milk, making their udders look great and at the same time, they skinny up to show off those hips. And then once they are done milking things tighten up quite nicely.
5. The life of a cow doesn’t include any cooking, cleaning, laundry, or any housework in general. A little poop here or there is just normal and no need to fret or stress over.
6. Depending on the day, a cow can seem pretty lucky to have the bulls in the pen for only a few months rather than all year long. Spring is the season of love and then its over. Just like that. Until next year at least.
7. Although I do appreciate good oral hygiene, I think it would be ok if the norm was everyone’s teeth falling out. Then we might not put ourselves through all the pain and agony in braces and cleanings and fillings. We'd just grind ‘em down and let them go!
8. In the life of a cow, being fat and sassy is just fine. In fact, we look at the herd and say the fat ones are in GREAT condition and if they have a little spunk we say they are feeling good. Where else is it ok to put on the pounds and be proud of it?! A rancher will proudly (because it’s from his good care) tell you that there isn’t a prettier sight than a herd of fat cows.
9. There are no diapers to change as a momma cow. Can you imagine how many dollars we would save in diapers and wipes if we just followed the cows and went all natural?